The Darwin Awards Next Evolution: Chlorinating the Gene Pool
The best book ever! 100 Stupendous Stories, 7 Science Essays, and a
"flip book" featured in the margin. Jessica says, "Tell them the science
essays were edited in a hammock under a tree!" This book is available in
all retail bookstores, and online as well. Amazon
offers it for only $13.57.
Support your species--buy a book!
Within These Portals Lie 759 Enterprising Demises.
Begin with Darwin Awards and Near Misses, Personal
Near Misses, and Urban Legends.
Review the Rules or FAQs or Site Map,
or read a random story with a click of the Randomizer
button conveniently placed on every page.
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An Illuminating Story
(darwin award)
France | A 71-year-old pensioner met a shocking end when his sneaky attempt
to illuminate his garden shed with power siphoned from the National Grid
backfired spectacularly...
Read on.
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A Screw Loose
(darwin award)
Texas | A contract worker was hired to install reinforcement bars on a
communications tower near Camp Bullis. He was wielding power tools high
above the ground, when two other workers saw him lean back and fall...
Read on.
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Early Retirement Plan
(darwin award)
Indonesia | Charles had just completed his studies at King William's
College, and his dreams were ambitious. He planned retire by the age of
30. Unfortunately for Charlie, his expensive education omitted an
important lesson from the curriculum...
Read on.
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Darwin (Wendy) is in love! On my first date, my gold
tooth fell out. Plop. How embarrassing. Here are some juicy
reader-contributed Excruciatingly Bad Date stories.
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Bench Press
(near miss)
Hong Kong | It's raining. You're lonely. Why not? That was how 41-year-old
Xian found himself face down on a bench, and calling for help in the middle
of the night...
Read on.
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Battered Sausage
(near miss)
Our young hero, accompanied by his concerned young girlfriend, sought
professional medical advice. Upon entering the examination room, the young
man gingerly lowered his pants and asked for advice...
Read on.
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Never Change
(near miss)
...
Read on.
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We love the video game, Spore.
You evolve new life from a single-cell organism, and eventually
create a simulated planet, including intelligent species building
things and visiting other planets... planets that other Spore
gamers created. Rumors claim that more "Spore species have been
uploaded than have been named on Earth. Is Spore a Pro-Evolution
game? No! Think it over. Spore actually illustrates the
importance of an Intelligent Designer in creating life.
How subversive!
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"Just think how stupid the average person is,
and then realize that half of them
are even stupider!"
--George Carlin
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Changes in Status:
Some true stories are unconfirmed until alert fans supply
references. Other stories are labelled "confirmed"
but new information reveals I was fooled. And some just
shouldn't have been posted. Here are the latest updates:
Removed: Nailed! -- Accident followed by dispair.
Brewery Mishap: Change to Urban Legend
MAYBE REMOVE?
Sweet Release Sad, but good safety
example.
Gun Safety Training - just not that stupid?
Definitely remove:
/stupid/stupid2000-14.html
/stupid/stupid2007-11.html (Miss Near Miss)
/stupid/stupid2006-01.html (Severely Faithful) Gross/crazy
COMBINE:
Blondes and Oil Changes & Happy Camper.
COMBINE Roller
oaster stories.
Combine spitting contest stories (1, (2))
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